"Me too."
He was a year older, maybe ten, with the same look of worry and anticipation as the girl.
So we sat and talked, long after the show we'd presented to their school had finished and well into the afternoon when they both should have been in other classes.
Their teacher and the school Principal casually walked past a couple of times, watching and listening carefully before turning away and allowing this impromptu counseling session to continue.
So, let's look at 'normal' and how it will stop this bullying. They were eager to share what normal was, and quickly began writing it all down while shouting out everything they'd noticed about the 'normal' world they couldn't feel a part of.
"Not too tall, not too short. Certainly not skinny and not fat. Not too brainy so you stand out but not stupid either so you stand out even more."
"You cant be new at the school either, must have all the 'right' clothes and definitely the right shoes. Someone who doesn't suck up to the teachers but doesn't get into trouble with them. Cant be ill, mustn't get sick, don't go through puberty too early or too late and if you do, hide it. And don't be rich - or poor, and if you have money don't splash it around as it's showing off or if you don't have any, don't let anyone know."
"Yes, and don't get spots, or wear glasses, or get braces, have a haircut or colour or do anything to your face or body that will make it look different to what it did yesterday. Have the right number of the right friends too and don't talk to the unpopular kid crying in the corner."
("But I'm usually the unpopular kid crying in the corner, does that mean I cant talk to myself."
Humour's important, but don't get distracted. What else is normal?)
"Don't be gay."
"What's gay?"
"I don't know, but don't be it.
Cant have food allergies either, because that's a nightmare and everyone picks on you."
"Don't ever do or get anything that other kids are jealous about."
And don't be religious or say anything religious. You gotta have a normal family, two parents, two children, a dog and a cat, but not a weird dog just normal dogs, not too small or too big or too noisy and make sure your parents aren't weird, and have normal jobs, and a proper car."
"What about the cat?"
"Cats are cool."
Don't be too white, or tanned, or dark, and don't look Asian either.
"The house you live in cant be too big."
"Nor too small. And your name has to be normal."
And here, at last, we hit the wall.
"How can you know if a name is normal or not? A name is a name, and sometimes it's popular especially if there's a big movie that comes out and your name's in it. And that can be bad too, because kids just chant over and over, 'show us your wand ' and if your name is the same as the bad guy, it's even worse. Anyway, you cant easily change your name so nothing can be done about it, and even if you did change it the chances are they'd find something about it to bully you. Probably pick on you for changing your name."
Then we came to a dead stop.
"I get bullied for being a girl."
"I get bullied for being a boy."
They're getting very close now.
"But that means then, that everyone's different."
"Yes."
"But ..."
"I know."
"There isn't any such thing as normal then."
"Nope."
Knowing this, I mean really KNOWING and understanding this, doesn't immediately make a difference. It's a relief, and the realisation you had known this all along but just hadn't thought it through, helps a little but, nothing changes. Not yet.
But later.
Knowing that your difference is or will be your strength, your super power, the thing that makes you stand out above everyone else whenever you use and practice it, is what you need to fully get.
You are different, because everyone is different - and that's normal.
"So we're normal?"
Yes.
"Oh."
"Oh."
